W e hear a lot about the Big Three Sexualities — straight, bisexual and gay. Most of us assume that these three orientations encompass the universe of sexual identities. But there is a new kid on the block: The mostly straight male. To the uninitiated, mostly straight may seem paradoxical. How can a man be mostly heterosexual? Yet the evidence suggests that more young men identify or describe themselves as mostly straight than identify as either bisexual or gay combined. A — U. Given such constraints, these young men were left with no place to truthfully register their sexuality, thus forcing them to be less than honest. For my book, I spoke with 40 mostly straight young men, some over the course of several years.
This article first appeared in Attitude issue , January Photohraphy: Markus Bidaux. Me making regular cameos in his wank bank was, however, perfectly acceptable. Well, that made two of us. And so, at the tender age of 15, I embarked on what would become a commitment to essentially thinking all men were — to some extent — secretly gay. Over the years, my friends, who are pretty much all female or also openly gay, mocked me because of it. And, in fairness, they were right. What if there really are a multitude of levels between gay and bisexual?
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I recently wrote a blog post about the music video for singer-songwriter Steve Grand's song "All-American Boy," in which a gay man falls in love with a straight man and they share a quick kiss. In that post I addressed why gay men might be attracted to straight men, but that question raises another: Why might a straight man be romantically or sexually attracted to other men? Why did the straight guy in the video kiss the gay guy back, after all?
This divide stems from a common understanding of human sexuality: The female variety of it is more malleable, more inherently open to experimentation and variety, than the male variety. In doing so, she shows that homosexual contact has been a regular feature of heterosexual life ever since the concepts of homo- and heterosexuality were first created — not just in prisons and frat houses and the military, but in biker gangs and even conservative suburban neighborhoods. And what I argue in the book is that even that research is situated within some long-held beliefs about the fundamental difference between men and women that are not accurate from a feminist perspective. You take readers on sort of a 20 th -century American tour of heterosexual dabbling in homosexual behavior, and there was never a lack of evidence that such dabbling took place. So that was one of the guiding questions through the book: What happens when we pull all of this evidence together?